When I launched the Stop Shoulding All Over Yourself podcast, my goal was to create a space where we could explore the weight of societal expectations on our mental health and connect listeners with others who are rewriting the blueprints by break free from them. My guest in episode 90 of the podcast is Jaime Heidel, author of What Did I Do Wrong?, a book that feels like a lifeline for anyone who loves someone who is autistic, and as an incredible resource for neurodivergent folks. Her words resonated deeply with me, especially as someone who has spent years trying to unmask and embrace my true self and I simply had to have her on.
<div id="buzzsprout-player-16242776"></div><script src="https://www.buzzsprout.com/1845673/episodes/16242776-the-articulate-autistic-navigating-neurodivergent-misunderstandings.js?container_id=buzzsprout-player-16242776&player=small" type="text/javascript" charset="utf-8"></script>The Pain of Masking
In our conversation, Jaime and I explored how neurodivergent people often feel the need to mask—hiding quirks and suppressing curiosity to fit into a world designed for neurotypicals. For most of us, it’s just a way of life, I can’t remember a time when I didn’t feel like an outsider no matter how hard I tried to assimilate. I kept looking at what I was supposed to be doing, and didn’t understand when sometimes my efforts didn’t work. Jaime described how these misunderstandings can leave us confused and frustrated, a sentiment that echoed my own experiences in workplaces and relationships. In fact, what was most freeing to me after recognizing my authd was the understanding that I wasn’t doing anything wrong – I just engage with the world differently.
Her book offers a bridge of understanding, helping neurotypical people decode the behaviors of their autistic loved ones, coworkers, or friends without trying to “fix” anyone, and instead fostering connection.
Building Bridges in the Workplace
As someone who works in research administration, I’ve seen firsthand how workplaces miss out by not learning the language of neurodivergent employees. I’ve watched capable and overachieving neurodivergent employees get sidelined because their managers weren’t armed with the information they needed to effectively guide their employees. Jaime’s insights suggest that if you are such a manager, that you endeavor to create spaces where curiosity and collaboration thrive. Check out her book gave to get a new lens to understand why misunderstandings happen and how you can build systems that support everyone.
Take the First Step
If you work with, live with, or love someone who is neurodivergent, I highly recommend What Did I Do Wrong?. It’s a practical, compassionate guide to ending the misunderstandings that hurt our relationships and create unnecessary barriers.
Let’s keep breaking down these walls together. Because at the end of the day, connection and understanding are what we all deserve.
Connect with Jaime
About Jaime
Jaime A. Heidel, The Articulate Autistic, is an autistic/ADHD writer, advocate, and communication translator. She hosts lively and thought-provoking discussions on her Instagram page, creates content for her blog and other websites, and offers private consultations for those looking to better understand and connect with their autistic loved ones. Her book, What Did I Do Wrong? aims to help friends, family, teachers, and partners better understand the autistic people in their lives while preventing traumatic misunderstandings. It is available on Amazon in paperback or for Kindle.